Adrian Graves
If you would prefer to have a civil funeral for your loved one, ask your Funeral Director about the options available. Typically, I work as an extension of the Funeral Director’s team and I may be approached and asked to assist.
I will then contact you and an initial discussion will be arranged. In normal circumstances, this will usually take place in the comfort of your home, together with your family or a friend – although given current constraints, our meeting will have to be remote, by telephone and e-mail, or via Skype or Zoom. In special circumstances, it may be able to meet outdoors, with social distancing.
We will go through a ‘Family Information Document’ which I have developed over the years to make sure we capture all the necessary and relevant information, cover all the details – and hopefully, ensure that nothing is missed.
The ceremony can then be designed and planned to include and reflect your wishes and preferences. These can include a eulogy or tributes, special readings, poetry and music – and they can be written or drawn together throughout by me, or include contributions from relatives or friends.
In addition, a hymn, a psalm and/or simple prayers can be incorporated into the ceremony if so desired.
I will then usually prepare a full draft of the funeral ceremony for us to discuss and agree in advance. After the funeral, a bound copy of the full text, tributes / eulogy and other passages will be made available to you to keep.
I am based near Bury St Edmunds and I operate primarily in East Anglia, although I am able to travel elsewhere by arrangement.
I am also available to assist with memorial ceremonies, interment or scattering of ashes, dedications and other events.
In addition, I have a wide range of contacts, such as experienced pipers and audio-visual specialists, who can be contacted to meet individual or specific requirements.
Civil Funeral Celebrant
Testimonials
Over the years, I have received many letters, cards, e-mails, texts and phone calls from those families it has been my privilege to help and support. I have always sought to protect their anonymity … but I hope these few selected extracts will help to give you a sense of what I try to do.
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"Without exception everyone who was present and those who watched it on the web cam said to me afterwards that it was the most beautiful and personal funeral that they had ever attended. It was just perfect for my mum and gave me a lot of comfort. I feel a sense of calm and peace."
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"Thank you so very much for all that you have done to help with the journey towards this imminent day, you have been the perfect guide and carer. Our family has been blessed to have you beside us.'"
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"Your professional and measured delivery, your additional suggested poem struck a chord with everybody who has encountered Dementia, Alzheimer’s & Stroke victims. I find myself re-reading and re-reading your final poem to remind myself of the very positive message."
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"In a difficult world, I find fewer & fewer people with the blessing/curse of empathy, but it seems there’s still a few of you around."
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"Many, many thanks Adrian - I've had so many messages from people who attended and those who watched online saying how beautiful the ceremony was and how it had made them remember the great times they'd had with Mum and what a lovely, kind person she was and who will be sorely missed, so I don't think we can ask for more than that..."
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"A few people asked if you knew my mother because they felt your words reflected true caring and a great warmth for her. I am certainly aware that you put much time and effort into compiling Services and making sure they are very personal. In this instance be assured that your dedication to ensuring that it was just that was appreciated by all in attendance. My mother would be proud of her beautiful send off. "
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"So many people told us what a lovely service it was, and it was so nice dealing with someone as kind and sensitive to our wishes as you were. We feel you shaped the whole thing perfectly and the end result was exactly what we wanted – and what we feel he too would have wished."
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"I think everyone, without exception, said it was the most moving and beautiful service they’d attended."
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"The way you coaxed the information about Mum out of me and then arranged it into a cohesive, amusing and tender oration was masterly and it did feel like you were describing someone you knew at first-hand."
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"It would be fair to say from my point of view also that I cannot find words sufficient to express the level of gratitude I have for just how well the day went and your part in it. You did yourself great credit with how well you understood just what Dad meant to all of us and for that we are all truly appreciative."
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"We are still receiving praises about the beautiful service, which it was and one that I am sure will be in people’s memories for a long time to come."
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"Adrian, he would have wholeheartedly appreciated a funeral as close as it was to what he would have wished for."
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"It was a privilege to be part of your attention to detail, professional planning and your thoughtful address and tribute. If every funeral I were to arrange was so beautifully carried out, our surveys would be second to none. [Funeral Director]"
Contact
tel: 01284 787438
mobile: 07860 311858
email: adrian@funeralsbygraves.co.uk
Location: Suffolk, UK